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You roll natural 20's

1/24/05 08:43 pm - We'll Be Right Back

Until then, please enjoy these messages from our sponsors:

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CBS
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We're so bad people don't even pirate our music.

That's All, Folks!

RIP Johnny Carson

1/11/05 05:57 pm

To the Members of Kill Without a Konsequence (and anyone else that may read my LiveJournal that this applies to):

I apologize if you found my comments offensive. An incident like this will not happen again.

Yours,
Vince

1/10/05 09:54 pm - NWC Boys Basketball Update

The NWC boys kicked ass again. We beat East like little children. East Catholic High School can suck a fat one. We rule so much.

Player of the Game: Justin Jarvis/Jerome Stewart
Justin came in on fire with a dunk in the opening minutes of the game. And he played well on both ends of the court. Jerome was the big man in the middle again, and totally ruled. And all of the fouls and called travels on him were absolute bullshit.

Fan of the Game: The NWC Green Machine
The student section kept the insults flying the entire game. The energy was pretty high, and they kept it up. Good job, fans!

Fuck East,
Vince

1/7/05 07:49 pm - General Things

Alright, for those of you not "in the know", I still feel like crap from yesterday. I'm not in the mood for linear thought right now, so if this goes off on a tangent it's not my fault.

This morning I was driving into school and they played "Build Me Up Buttercup" and "You Shook Me All Night Long" on the radio, one after another. I almost started crying. In fact, I think I did, but just kept it in. Again, this stems from stuff that happened yesterday.

Another thing that happened today was that I noticed whenever I'm talking to someone, whether it be in person or online, I'm always the one initiating the conversation. I realized also, that because of this, many people are talking to me only because I initiated the conversation, and would otherwise not want to talk to me. I've now decided that I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm not going to initiate conversation anymore, because I don't want to inconvenience those people that don't want to talk to me.

See, I did a little experiment about 10 minutes ago. I put up an away message that asked people to IM me, to see who really wants to talk to me and who doesn't. In the first 10 minutes the only one to reply has been Mike, and I don't expect the list to go any further than that.

You know, I wish that I didn't suck at directions so much, or I would just drive off. I don't care where I would go, but I'd just drive. For days and days I'd travel until I felt inside that I'm supposed to stop. And that's where I'd settle myself. I'd start anew. No people I don't like, nobody that hates me, just a bunch of new people that I could try and start a new life with. Because that's what I think I need. A new life.

And the reason I think this is because there is something wrong. I don't know what it is, but there's something wrong. There's something wrong with me, if I can't get over something that happened in September of 2004. I still hang on to those memories, and I'm living in the past. I keep thinking about how much better things were, and how worse they've become. I'm trying to deal with it as best I can, but every time I think I'm doing a good job, something comes up and ruins it for me, and I'm back like this again.

You see, another thing that's bothering me is that I can't express my feelings in the proper way. I've been told by someone that I can trust, that expressing how I feel is a bad thing (at least in this particular case). And I suppose she's right, I can't tell this person how I feel because it's best for them not to know. Or, if they already know, it's best for them not to be reminded. But, if they read this, then all of what I just typed is moot. But I could care less. The point of this paragraph is that I have something inside that I want to express and share and shout to the world, but I can't. And it's tearing me apart inside.

But the thing is, even if I did do all of this, it would amount to a stack of shit. Nada. Zilch. I think it goes without saying that there are circumstances beyond my control going on that would prevent me from saying what I really want to say, and preventing what I would say from doing any good. And that's another shitty part, too.

But perhaps the worst part, is that all of this. All of my feelings and everything are being based off of a lie. I was lied to, and I bought it. I believed it with all my heart and sould. And they believed it to, but once they realized that they were lying they stopped, which is commendable. But for me, it wasn't a lie. It wasn't a mistake. But they had the ability to "get over it", as they say, because to them it was a mistake. I, on the other hand, wasn't mistaken, so it's taking me a little longer to "get over it". I'm only trying to because people have told me that's what I'm supposed to do. But if it was up to me, I wouldn't try to get over it. I would try and go with my heart, and my feelings, and what I believe on the inside. But it's better for everyone except me if I don't go by my inner feelings. And that's the way it always goes. I make the sacrifices so everyone else can be happy. And while there are times when that's really great, and I do enjoy helping people and making them happy, this is where it stops. Being miserable so others can be happy has put it to a dead halt. Usually when I'm making a sacrifice for the benefit of another person it's at a minor inconvenience to myself. But as I said, this has gone beyond a minor inconvenience. It's has crushed my spirit and ruined my soul. And I don't know if I'll ever be the same again.

But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue,
Vince

1/6/05 07:59 pm - Napoleon Dynamite

I just watched Napoleon Dynamite for the second time in a week. It's a pretty funny movie, I'd reccommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it yet. Well, that's only if you enjoy very weird humor. The movie sort of runs like an hour an a half episode of Seinfeld, there's no point. But still, quality.

And right now my parents are watching that god-awful By Bye Birdie DVD. I wish they would realize that it was last year, and get over it. I'm so sick of that fucking show. I hate musical theater. I'm even fucking sick of Annie and we've only had one rehearsal. I repeat, I really, really hate musical theater right now.

Don't mind me, I just talked to someone that I haven't talked to in a while. And, you know, they're cool and everything, but I just feel like shit now. It's that feeling like, if someone just died like a month ago, and then you went to this restaurant. And like, this restaurant was the favorite one of the person that died. And you're all like, damn, this was their favorite restaurant. And then you get mad depressed because they're dead. Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel right now.

But, for the sake of that person, I'd like to make it known that it's not their fault. They just trigger bad memories. They're a really cool person, and I like them and everything, but I just can't talk to them without feeling depressed. I'd like to talk to them more and everything, but I keep feeling like shit when I do. But then again, I don't want to hurt their feelings by not talking to them, because they're my friend, and I do want to talk to them. It's just that I don't know what to say, or what to talk about, and there are certain things that I have to censor myself about, which are pretty much the same things that I'm trying to forget about right now, and the things that make me feel depressed. So as you can imagine, I'm in quite a bind.

I caught you a delicious bass,
Vince

1/2/05 05:21 pm - Update for the last few days

I've done too much shit the past week, so I'll just get it all out of the way with one post.

NWC Boys Basketball
Great game Tuesday night. They almost lost it, but they came back in the last quarter to take home the title of "2005 Manchester High Holday Classic Champions".

Player of the Game: John Phillips
It really could have gone to any of the guys, but John pulled out 21 points and played great on both ends of the court. Also, his 3-pointer with a few minutes left really got the team going.

Fan of the Game: Jim Berry
Yes, my dad is the fan of the game. You know why? Because he constantly reminded the refs how bad they suck. They did suck. Badly.
----------------------------------------
Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Greatest concert I've seen in a long time. They blew the roof off of Mohegan Sun on Wednesday night. They have a unique sound, one that mixes the subtlety of a string orchestra with the power of a rock band. Great singing, as well. And we can't forget the pyrotechnics and the lighting. Top notch. And the drum and guitar solos were hardcore to the max. Go buy their CDs. Right now.
----------------------------------------

Thursday I went to the Salvation Army and picked up some truly classic sportcoats. These things must've been made in the 60s or 70s, because damn, they're brightly colored. Tomorrow will be the first public appearance of my new pink plaid sportcoat. Be ready for it, bitches.
----------------------------------------

Friday was mostly spent making fun of people in the mall with Graham. This included shouting "Ugg Boots!" at anyone wearing them, verbally abusing goth kids, and shouting "Tiiiiiiiiiiiim Rooooooooney!" at Tim when he was working at Gloria Jean's every time we walked by the store (which was about 10 times). There was a girl looking for a Hot Topic, and I informed her that there was none, and it was a good goddamned thing there wasn't. We went back to my place and I wrecked Graham in Halo 2 multiplayer.

Friday night I rang in the New Year by hanging out with Graham and Steve. We first watched Napoleon Dynamite, then a few episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Then Rachel and Lindsay stopped by, and Steve and I had to keep Lindsay company while Graham and Rachel got it on outside. It took about half an hour, which can only mean that Graham has a limp dick.

Graham Warwick: The Face of Erectile Dysfunction.

We watched South Park for a little, then turned to ABC to watch the ball drop. The girls went home and us three went and watched more Aqua Teen, played some StepMania, and watched a video of a guy beating Half Life in 45 minutes. Afterwards, we played poker until about 5AM. We woke up around 12:30 and watched Reservoir Dogs. Then we went to the mall and made fun of more people. Finally, I got home.

Nothing interesting has happened since.

Finger bang bang you into my life,
Vince

12/28/04 07:40 pm - NWC Boys Basketball Update

Another great game tonight, sports fans. The Indians pulled through a tough game, winning by 6 thanks to a buzzer beating 3-pointer. Fitch has been the toughest opponent we've faced this year, and the team stepped up to meet the challenge. Fitch's team was huge, with a 6-foot-4 center who was only a junior.

Player of the Game: Brandon Diaz
Brandon came through big tonight. He had tons of steals, and was all over the floor (literally) to get the ball. He came through big at point guard as well.

Fan of the Game: Ali Cook
I didn't even know she liked basketball (or that she even knew we had a team), so it was cool to see her in the stands. And of course, she was very stylishly dressed (as always) with her white turtleneck and Ugg boots.

Good Game Indians,
Vince

12/26/04 10:50 pm - I am the Tickle Master

I just thought I would let my loyal readers know of an interest I've kept supressed for some time now. I am a tickler. And not just any tickler, I am the self-proclaimed Tickle Mast of Connecticut (and I'd like you to try and prove otherwise). Now, there may be some confusion among you, so I will try and explain this to the best of my abilities.

To get it out of the way, I'll tell you that I only tickle girls. Also, to get it out of the way, it is nothing sexual to me, tickling is just something I do for fun, because I believe it is fun for both parties involved. And yes, I'm talking about the type of tickling that is moving your fingers rapidly and with some amount of pressure over a sensitive group nerves to ellicit laughter. I know I probably didn't have to explain all that, but sometimes it's necessary.

Now, to the reason why I call myself the Tickle Master. As a student of the art of tickling, I have researched and tested for years and I am positive that I know all of the best techniques to make my victims squeal with laughter. Don't be freaked out by all this, there is actually a large community of people interested in tickling (though it does range from the recreational to the sexual, but so does most everything). So don't be surprised if someone you know is a tickler.

And since I have given myself this title, I realize I have to defend it. That is why I will issue the Official Tickle Master's Tickle Challenge. If any girl doesn't believe I am the best tickler they've ever met, I will gladly prove them wrong. My current list of those taking the challenge is as follows:
-Juliana
-Brenna
-Katie
-Rachel

So, if you want to take the Official Tickle Master's Tickle Challenge (TM, All Rights Reserved) leave a comment here.

Laughter is the Best Medicine,
Vince

12/26/04 10:25 pm - Meet The Fockers

This is one family renunion you're going to want to skip. This movie has some big names in it, and they all went to waste. I don't know what the writer was smoking between making Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers, but it must've been some heavy duty shit.

For the love of God, do not go see this movie. At all. Even if someone else is paying.

Ze Goggles, Zey Do Nothing!
Vince

12/24/04 11:42 pm - A Christmas Tale

Soon enough it will be December 25th. All day I've been mulling over a fitting entry for the occasion. I came up with the framework for a story that I think will be enlightening to at least one or two people. Since this should be a rather long story I'd like to remind you that all of my written works are Copyright 2004 to Vincent R. Berry.

It had been a long journey for the young couple. For one of them there are saddle sores and pains from riding an ass for many many miles. For the other, the pain and stiffness shoots through his legs like an electrical current. But they had arrived in Bethlehem, and just in time for the census. Just in time.

Walking through the town square, the couple noticed the streets bustled with people. Some had not lived in Bethlehem for years, others have been here all their lives. But it was those that just arrived that created a problem for the couple. You see, Joseph's (that was the male) parents had passed many years ago, and he had not been back to Bethlehem in a very long time. Therefore, they had nowhere to stay. Friends and acquaintances all had their spare rooms occupied by those that arrived earlier than Joseph and Mary, his betrothed. They would have been in town earlier, but you see Mary was with child, so their journey was extended by many days. And considering who their child was going to be, it was a good thing they took it slow and did not damage the unborn child.

Joseph walked at a fevered pace, with Mary not far behind. Still on the donkey, of course, with a rope extending from the ass to Joseph's hand. They arrived at their last resort. The only inn located in Bethlehem. It was owned by a friend of Joseph. The man inherited the inn from his father, who inherited it from his father, and so forth. Joseph knocked, and the innkeeper answered with a rather sour look on his face. He was about to tell the two, on very uncertain terms, to get lost. But, seeing that it was his childhood friend Joseph, he couldn't turn them away. Especially a woman with child.

The innkeeper told Joseph that all the rooms were occupied. Again, they had arrived later than all of the others and were left out. But there was one last hope for the couple. The innkeeper offered to let them stay in his stable free of charge. He knew that it wouldn't be the most pleasant smelling experience for them. But it would keep them warm once the sun went down and the wind began to blow. Also, it was obvious Mary was very close to having her child, and the inn was close to the local midwife.

He informed Joseph of all of this, and told him that when Mary was ready to deliver the child to get his wife, who is one of the midwife's assistants. She would get the midwife and the other assistants to help the birth along. And again, with who their child was going to be, it was important that she had all the help possible.

So, Joseph set Mary down on one of the softer bales of hay in the stable. He unloaded their things from the ass, and prepared to get himself settled. He found the next softest bale of hay, and laid himself down on it. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. Unfortunately, this rest was very short. The screams of pain coming from his betrothed were quite enough to stir him from his slumber, as well as the rest of the inhabitants of the stable. Among the braying, neighing, clucking, and moans of pain Joseph stood frozen. Then he remembered: the innkeeper's wife.

What happened next was akin to a relay race. Joseph ran to the inn and alerted the innkeeper, who in turn alerted his wife, who in turn ran across the street and alerted the midwife, who in turn alerted her assistants. Then, they all came racing back to the stable to attend to Mary. Well, all of them except for Joseph. He was feeling very anxious about this whole pregnancy, and would not have been much help to anyone even if he did know what to do in this situation. To him, childbirth was a mystery. So, he did something he knew.

Inside the stable he was able to find a few old tools. He looked at the rusty saw and knew it was nothing like his back home. His glistened in the sunlight, its wood magnificently molded to the blade. This was rusty and in rather bad shape, but it would server its purpose. After a brief search he found some spare lumber. His only question now was what to build.

Finally, he decided on a manger. He noticed that the innkeeper only had one, though he had many animals. Also, that manger wasn't in very good shape. He considered this manger his payment to the innkeeper for his generosity.

As he whittled away at the wood, he tried to think about everything but the birth taking place a few yards away. He was under great stress about this entire ordeal. He knew the child wasn't his, but that wasn't the biggest thing on his mind. The thing he was worried about, as always, was what the others thought. Ever since he was betrothed to Mary he had been getting funny looks from the people of his town. Mary and he weren't married, yet she was pregnant. He could try to explain to them that the child wasn't his, but that would only compound his problems. Add to that the explanation that Mary was impregnated by God and carrying the saviour of the world and everyone would surely think he was crazy.

Joseph thought of divorcing Mary after the birth, but a visit from an angel in a dream stopped that thought. It was never the divine facet of the pregnancy that bothered him. He was a good man, a religious man. He loved God and believed that He would provide for this new family and the soon-to-be born saviour. The problem was that he was a good man, so when people gave him that look of disdain he always felt ashamed, and wrongfully so. Joseph knew in his heart that this was the right thing to do, and he did it, even if it did make him feel uneasy around his friends. Again, he believed God would provide. And so far, He had.

Before he knew it, the manger was finished. It wasn't perfect, but with the tools and the wood he had to work with it was a job well done. He looked over at his betrothed, her face in a grimace of pain. The sun was beginning to set, and the midwife said that it wouldn't be much longer before the child was born. Joseph packed some hay into the manger as he watched Mary giving birth. In between her labor pains she managed a smile, and he returned it.

In a few hours the midwife, who was by now rather exhausted and bedraggled, proudly announced that Mary delivered a very happy, healthy little boy. But of course, Mary and Joseph already knew that. The innkeeper's took some of the inn's spare cloths and rags and wrapped the newborn in them. Then, she looked for a suitable place to put the child down. The midwife and her assistants all looked around for a suitable crib, and immediately all their eyes fixed on one thing: Joseph's manger. They placed the child in it, and very peacefully, it rested.

By this time Mary had also fallen asleep from exhaustion. Joseph, too, decided it was time to rest. And for the first time, the entire family, including its newest member Yeshua Ben-Yosef, slept. It was some time during the middle of the night when Joseph was started awake by a noise. He immediately thought of Mary and Yeshua, and whether or not they were in danger. But the sound he heard was Mary singing the child a song and the child giggling along. Joseph smiled, and realized that he hadn't been out of the stable in a while. He walked outside to get a breath of fresh air. The cool night's breeze hit him and he wrapped his robe tighter around him. As he looked back at the stable he saw his betrothed and their son, the new saviour, peacefully dozing back to sleep. Looking above the roof of the manger, Joseph noticed a star he hadn't previously seen. He was no astrologer, but he was sure that this particular star had just come into existence. But he quickly put that out of his head, for he heard another noise.

This time it wasn't Mary or the child, it was a very faint noise. He could just barely make it out, but it sounded like many different voices gathered together. It seemed the voices formed a choir, and the song seemed familiar. It was the song that Mary had been singing Yeshua to sleep with. With a deep breath and a wide smile he walked back into the stable. And just as he went back to sleep Joseph thought yes, He would provide for us after all.

Merry Christmas,
Vince

12/22/04 09:29 pm - NWC Boys' Basketball Update

Another win for the NWC boys, and win #301 for coach Mirabello. This was another excellent game by the guys in green. John and Brandon did a bang-up job.

Player of the Game: Jerome Stewart
This kid is an up-and-comer who I guarantee will be one of the leaders in the next few years. He had a huge game tonight.

Fan of the Game: Mike Golic
I listen to this man every morning on ESPN Radio, and he is right about everything that has to do with sports. Go Mike!

Bang Bang Choo-Choo Train,
Vince

12/21/04 03:42 pm - Rolling 20's?

I can already see the confused looks that everyone will give me when they read this. Natural 20's? Rolling? What? What is that? Well, I have for you an answer:

When you play a tabletop or pen-and-paper Role-Playing Games you have to roll dice to determine the accuracy of your attack, how much damage you manage to do to the monster you're attacking, etc. And most of the time to do this, you roll a d20 (Nerd talk for "twenty-sided die"). If you roll a "natural twenty" you manage to land with the 20 facing up, which is very luck for you. The difference between a regular 20 and a natural 20 is that you can get 20 with combinations, by rolling more than one die, etc. but to get a natural is a lot more difficult and requires some serious luck.

Keep on rollin',
Vince

12/21/04 03:41 pm - All Done

There, that looks good. All nice and neat. A place for everything and everything in its place. Plus, it's a whole lot brighter.

Let me know what you think,
Vince

12/21/04 03:09 pm - Renovations

Please excuse the mess while I try and make some changes. Things will be appearing, disappearing, and just generally in a state of flux until perhaps 9:00 tonight. So if you come here and see something that doesn't quite look right, know that it will probably be fixed by the time you check it later tonight or tomorrow.

Put On Your Hardhat,
Vince

12/19/04 08:46 pm - Jones Soda

All of you need to go to Target and pick up a case of Jones Strawberry Lime Soda. It is the best soda I have ever tasted. Unfortunately, it's an independent type soda company, and therefore only sold in select places (a few gas stations/convenience stores, and now Target). But apparently it is very popular in Canada, which I suppose is an OK thing.

So yes, go to Target, go down into the soda aisle and see if there is any Jones Soda left. It has been selling very fast, and I was lucky enough to snag the last 12-pack of Strawberry Lime. But there was a case of Root Beer left, and a bunch of various flavored bottle 4-packs.

H to the Izzo,
Vince

12/18/04 07:31 pm - The Superb Products of RonCo

Late last night into early this morning I was enamored by wonderful cookware products produced by RonCo. You may know the infomercials famous for their "Set It And Forget It" catchphrase, but aside from the Showtime Rotisserie they have many other exciting kitchen products.

One product I was especially amazed by was the Six Star Stainless Steel Cutlery Set. It included over $800 worth of cutlery products for only 3 easy payments of $13.33. That's right, 25 pieces including 8 steak knives, a sportsman's knife, cleaver, carving knife, paring knives, and many others for only 3 easy payments of $13.33. Not only that, but free with your purchase is a RonCo Solid Flavor Injector, which allows you to inject your special spices into the middle of meat. Sexual innuendo aside, it's great for adding garlic cloves to a pork roast, and all those other exciting things. It's a $30 value, yours for free when you purchase RonCo's Six Star Stainless Steel Cutlery Set for only 3 easy payments of $13.33.

Check out RonCo Dot Com to see all of their other amazing products.

Set It And Forget It,
Vince

12/18/04 05:24 pm - NWC Boys Basketball

Good Evening, sports fans. I have another Indians sports update. The NWC Boys just decimated Bristol Central in the Doc Hurley Classic. Again, I didn't know how good the team would be this year after losing a majority of our players. But again, everyone has stepped up, and we should be in for a great season.

Player of the Game: John Phillips. He played balls out tonight. He was under the basket for every rebound, played great defense, and drained threes like it was his job. Amazing job. It's no wonder he's in the starting five this season.

Everybody Yell "Go Indians",
Vince

12/17/04 09:02 pm - NWC Girls Basketball

I just got home from a great basketball game. The girls team really pulled through today. After their first game (loss) against Plainville I was worried. But my faith has been regained. This should be a good year for NWC girls. Everyone has stepped up and is ready to play.

One person in particular I'd like to give some credit to is Kate Granato. She played really well today. Her outside shot was on, and she had a nice fast break late in the game. If only the coaches would read this so I could tell them to put Kate in more. Go Kate!

Let's Go Indians,
Vince
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